So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
