Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
