My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize