just tell him i said nine months
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
