i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
