theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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