I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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