We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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