i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
