You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
