im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
