I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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