make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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