Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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