do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
