4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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