Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
