She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
