I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Someone signed my nipple.
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