when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My penis needs a shock collar
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize