I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
