i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
