people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
