the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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