remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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