Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
