He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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