addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I look better un-naked...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
