i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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