You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
