Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I deserve this hangover.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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