I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
