I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
