Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
