I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
