sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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