and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
This is my gift to your gina
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
