I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
my poor anus
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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