I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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