I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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