I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
When are your genitals available?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
