First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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