Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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