PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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