I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
