For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
pray to the hookup gods
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
