brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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