You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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