Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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