Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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