do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize