would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
In America we eat man semen.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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