just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
