No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Who died my cat blue again?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
