So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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